Home ANTHILL TV The big pitch: High-tech boots protect portal guns from messy human error

The big pitch: High-tech boots protect portal guns from messy human error


A fall from a 10-story-high mainframe extrusion can be messy. More important, it can damage expensive portable hardware. Luckily, the folks at Aperture Laboratories have found a way to mitigate that annoying human factor.

As shown in this video, the new Long Fall Boot decreases the probability of a portal gun suffering because its user insists on becoming a grease stain. Aperture CEO Cave Johnson notes that the boots are “expensive as hell” but well worth it. He also has helpful instructions for investors: “We’re between banks right now, so just make those checks out to cash.”

OK, back to reality. Darn it.

The video is part of the promotional rollout for “Portal 2,” the sequel to the popular first-person maze/puzzle game put out by Valve Corporation in 2007. “Portal 2” is scheduled to debut the week of 18 April. Character actor J.K. Simmons (J. Jonah Jameson in the “Spider-Man” trilogy) provides the voice of Cave Johnson in the video and in the game.

The boots pitch is one of four “investment opportunity” videos released to the Interwebs by Valve for the “Portal 2” campaign (the “Home Safety Turret” is especially inspired).

If only all investment videos were so interesting to watch! You can check them all out here.

Aperture Labs investment opportunity

Home Safety Turret Investment Video

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