Today I received a viral email announcing the winners of the 2009 Stella Awards.
If you are not familiar with this prestigious honour, the ‘Stellas’ are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald’s in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee.
Remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving?
Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?
Now, I don’t know if the following accolades are true. We couldn’t even find a current website for the Stellas. But we do love hearing about and sharing stories of commercial stupidity (hence our annual Dumb Report).
So, here are the Stella’s for 2009 (according to an email we received):
7TH PLACE
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was, in fact, her own son.
6TH PLACE
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hub caps.
5TH PLACE
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just burgled by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count ‘em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000.
4TH PLACE
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle – even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
3RD PLACE
Third place goes to Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113, 500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2ND PLACE
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000….oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.
1ST PLACE
This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
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James Tuckerman Reply:
October 14th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Alright. I admit. Not one of my finest moments.
The great thing about the internet is that it encourages transparency. It allows us to challenge ideas and prompt discussion.
If everyone can be made ’socially’ accountable for their actions (and thoughts), the world would be a better place.
Which brings me to a pet hate.
There’s one thing that I find more offensive than poorly researched posts. It’s snippy comments launched from behind non de plumes.
If you really believe in what you say and are not afraid to be challenged for your views, why not use your real name?
Anyone can launch a grenade into a post under an alias.
You challenge me to do better. I challenge you to do the same (not just on this site but next time you find yourself trawling the web with a view to share).
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