 |
| Illustration by Sam Griffi |
Sick and tired of venture capitalists slamming their heavy, oak doors in your mush? Heck, even a cash injection of 50 grand would get your bright idea to the next stage, right? Fear not. Help is at hand.
In a recent letter sent to the Anthill colony, David Rhodes reckons he can help you make so much money so easily, why would you bother trying to re-invent the wheel, or any other gizmo for that matter?
To demonstrate, he even attached a shiny 5-cent piece to our letter, though he assures us that this is just a taste – that he turned a modest investment of $212 into nearly $80,000 in just two months. This return, however, pales in comparison to the size of his bank balance now.
KA-Ching. By now, the penny has well and truly dropped for most of you. Yes, the axle of David Rhodes’s wheel of good fortune is just another chain letter/pyramid selling scam.
His letter follows a well-trodden trail. The first bit relates some incredible tale of woe: a lost job/wife/home/dog/limb, which has prompted a spiral into financial oblivion. In our David’s case, he’d lost his job and had his house and car re-possessed. ‘As you can imagine, life was bleak,’ he confides.
But then a letter appeared on his doorstep telling him how to make obscene amounts of money – quickly and without hassle.
He then reveals his rags-to-riches makeover all the while assuring us that it is LEGAL and in no way contravenes any consumer affairs regulations. Our version even included ‘testimonials’ from other happy participants in his ‘Business Plan Program’. These names are always sufficiently vague: Mr X from Brisbane or Mrs J from Sydney, etc, assuring us readers that ‘despite their scepticism’, they too are now rolling in dosh – huge mounds of it.
While I couldn’t reach any of these people, I did look up the name ‘Rhodes’ in the Perth White Pages and found 18 whose Christian names began with the letter ‘D’. I rang a couple and, just for the record, I don’t think it’s possible to perform a few of the feats that they suggested I attempt.
Of course, only those at the sharp end of the pyramid ever hit pay dirt. These sorts of schemes are doomed to collapse because there is a limit to the number of people who can join.
At any given time, there are thousands of similar deals floating around snail mail and internet addresses the world over, claiming to be everything from organisers of the European lottery and famous fortune-tellers to the now ubiquitous Nigerian money laundering scheme. My personal favourites are the ones that threaten some form of bad luck or bodily harm to more cynical recipients.
It never fails to amaze me how so many apparently intelligent people take the bait. It only goes to prove that greed is blinder than a welder’s dog.
If you’re truly down to your last roll of the dice, give yourself a sporting chance and back a roughy in the fifth at Rosehill. At least your money will get to the starting line.
Mark Kestigian is a Melbourne-based writer.
Have your say: [email protected]
The views expressed above do not necessarily represent the editorial opinion of Australian Anthill.
