“Why the pc is becoming irrelevant. iPad.”

And I pointed out that, according to the dictionary, the iPad is a PC (i.e. personal computer).

According to the Merriam-Webster, PC stands for Personal Computer and nowhere does it say “IBM” or “Windows” or “Microsoft”. When the dictionary people change the definition maybe I’ll listen but while it is just computer people, not known for their mastery of actual English as opposed to tech jargon, pointing to an IBM related definition, I’ll stand my ground.

When the first iPad appeared, I wrote an article for Anthill questioning the validity and likely success of the iPad in a world where tablet PCs have come and gone (many times). This Facebook exchange made me wonder if anything has changed.

The religious belief in technology and what the CEOs of these companies say, irrespective of brand, seems incredibly closed minded to me; Close-mindedness in the context of believing in the word of an individual or an organisation as opposed to actually thinking and evaluating evidence as compared to my needs and capacity to partake.

I am sure some of these gadgets are lovely and I am equally sure some of them are over-hyped rubbish. Until I have a need and a device can be proven to fill that need at a certain level of reliability I’m not just going to “believe”.

All I have to do is look back at the history of hyped and over-hyped gadgets to see the likelihood of them delivering on their promises. Sadly, my budget does no longer allow me to buy on hype and desire alone. Everything, these days, must deliver value, reliability and promise.

For me, it is that simple.

While the gadgetphile in me says, I want an iPad v2, I can honestly say I can see no reason whatsoever why I need one.

It just does not do anything that I can’t do another way with other devices I already have. It doesn’t do any job I am currently doing more efficiently enough to offset the cost of change. It doesn’t do anything unique that I need to live my life or do my job.

The key word here is NEED.

When my current devices die and I need a new personal computer I will certainly evaluate the technology of the time in the context of my needs and purchase accordingly (within my budget).

However, just because the majority of the human species are distracted by lowest-common-denominator marketing and shiny things doesn’t mean we all have to be. It is this lack of thinking that has and will doom our species. And while it is certainly a long bow to draw between and iPad and the extinction of humans, there is a common thread:

History has proven time and time again just how destructive lack of thought can be. Combine it with blind religious zeal and the path is all too clear.

Sorry iPad, while your sales figures say you are successful, I still don’t see why I need you.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

Photo by CLF

When I was young, I remember watching the cartoon version of Fantastic Voyage. Each week the characters were miniaturised and placed inside an ailing human body. Each episode, a rampant microbe of some nature attacked them.

One character, called Guru, waved his hand and these seemingly enormous problems were magically, and somewhat mysteriously, fixed.

This sounds more like the gurus I’ve met.

Who’s the guru in your office?

Now, I’m not saying that there are no gurus of spiritual persuasion out there.

What I am saying is that many computer people believe in little other than technology, and belief systems generally include a hierarchy of worship.

This is where the Guru fits in.

The mysterious, weird guy planted at the end of the office hallway may not arrest you with his personality, but that hand-waving thing is his stock-in-trade. He is the light at the end of the tunnel, and you don’t have to die (or cough up a handful of rupees) to see him.

Gurus are valuable, smart and a great source of information. But they can also be trouble.

Here’s the juju with gurus

Yes, they do provide quick solutions to problems, they do possess a great deal of domain knowledge and they do provide a continuum in highly technical and complex environments.

Gurus have a lot to offer. The trick is extracting it from them before they are gone.

Because gurus have a knack of vanishing.

And even worse, because information is their key to survival, you may find that most gurus tend to hoard it. The question has to be asked, are they doing this for the greater good or some ulterior motive?

It is not uncommon for gurus to depart a company only to return as highly paid contractors.

Good for them, not so good for you.

Get instant karma!

Just because you now see gurus for what they really are, it does not mean that you should levitate them out the door.

One strategy that can help you mitigate the risk of losing your guru is establishing a mentor program. This gives you the opportunity to spread the knowledge of your gurus and fast track the development of your junior team members.

Having your gurus provide training is another way of spreading the knowledge about.

The options are almost endless but all of them are dependent on capturing what the guru does in some way. Document what they do in your company process, put it on the intranet for all to see, get them to write white papers and perhaps present them at conferences.

Whatever you do, your ultimate goal should be a useable well-documented company process. Call it the Guru File, if you will. Just get that stuff out of their heads and onto paper. Think of it as a backup for your intellectual property.

Whenever I hear someone referred to as a “guru”, a little alarm goes off in my head. This person is going to need special attention and they are going to be important to the success of any process improvement.

They’ll be your best resource. Don’t let them become your worst nightmare.

Make a note of it – and jot it down in your dictionary if it isn’t there.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is Principal PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

What is the Cloud?

For those of you with your heads in the… sand, let me explain: cloud computing refers to software and services that are provided over the internet, rather than through your laptop or PC.

For example, at the moment, many people save information on their computer hard-drive. Other people, who don’t want to waste hard-drive space on their computers, might instead save this information on someone else’s servers and access this information through the internet (or “cloud”).

As another example, whereas some people might load up said laptop or PC with software, such as Outlook to manage their email, some people might choose to use a service like Google’s alternative Gmail.

With the latter email option, all the user’s important emails are not saved on the hard-drive but on Google’s servers, accessible via the internet.

Naturally, this prompts immediate concerns and suspicions about security.

Just how do you guarantee your security, whatever you deem it to be, when you are saving and sharing your information “in the cloud”?

Well, unlike actually being in a plane and in the clouds, security and safety online is really up to you, the user. (A seat belt, a sick bag and the foetal position won’t help you should you erroneously put your trust in a unsecure cloud service provider.)

The level of trust you put into any cloud-based system is entirely your choice. Do I really need to tell you this?

Well, yes.

While a lot of talk is done about cloud security by both vendors and users, the reality lies somewhere between “completely secure” and “oops my pants are down”.

A matter of precaution

Ever since our earliest ancestor put an animal skin front door on their cave, we’ve been playing a game of leap frog with the bad guys.

Of course, we’ve also been battling to remember to close the frickin’ door in the first place.

The same thing applies in the cloud. If you want it secure, secure it yourself.

I have a confession to make. I am not a security expert. I don’t give a rats about levels of encryption on communications, site certificates, how trustworthy a vendor is, where their servers are, how big their site security guards are and whether they are armed or not.

What I do care about is knowing before things go bad that I’ve taken appropriate precautions.

I like to know that I have closed the door and locked it. I also like to know all windows are secured and the back door is bolted too! What happens after that I accept to be a residual risk.

What I am talking about is securing your important stuff before it goes to the cloud.

But the cloud is as secure as anywhere else, you might say.

True security begins at home

Now, before all the geeks out there explode and start posting comments, stop and think: only the owner of the data can answer this question. Not you!

The first contact a lot of people have with the cloud these days is via online file storage. We are putting files in the cloud as if they were on our hard disk at home. We are using tools like SugarSync or DropBox to keep multiple systems, users and devices synchronised with the same data. These sorts of things are awesome, especially for technophobes and people new to technology.

However, all systems are prone to human error.

So, when I want to be sure a file is only viewable by me I put a password on it, or I 7-zip it with a password, and sometimes it even lives inside a TrueCrypt military strength encrypted volume… in the cloud. This is also something that anyone with basic software can do, when saving a file.

Password protect it!

Locking the file properly at home once means you don’t have to worry so much about it escaping from the cloud or anywhere else. Your home security is automatically migrated to everywhere else.

Data security lives at home. I don’t suggest you sit in a rocking chair on your front porch with a loaded shotgun.

You should, however, take responsibility for your data wherever it is. And encrypting your files within the cloud is one way to avoid getting caught with your pants down.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principal PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

Image by BasicGov

They’ll take your goods or use your services without ever having the intention of paying you.

They surf the cusp of legality and debt recovery. They know that what they do is illegal but they are happy in the knowledge that the cost versus benefit of chasing them is too high. They know too that these same things will keep them off debt registers.

I call these people ‘debt-hole surfers’

For a small business eager to make new clients happy this sucks particularly hard. For a business where service and time is pretty much all you have to offer, this sucks pretty bad. Heck, for any honest person doing their best for other people on the assumption that most people are good, this sucks pretty bad. It just sucks!

To me, this type of behaviour is worse than anonymous theft. These people flaunt their behaviour and still get away with it.

It is only when you talk to other businesses who’ve done business with these jokers that you discover you aren’t alone.

WTF? Why wasn’t I warned?

The good people like you and me are left feeling like we can’t do anything about it because either it costs too much to chase them or we break complex privacy and slander laws. We are living in fear while these jokers just help themselves to our stuff.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been investigating this phenomenon. There do seem to be ways to find out if your next new customer is going to pay you or not.

Sure, I’ve been told “always get paid first”, “check with a credit agency”, “talk to consumer affairs”, etc. All good ideas but all come after the horse has bolted. For some of us, particularly in the service industry and other intangible sales, getting paid up front for an invisible and as yet undelivered product is tantamount to impossible.

But I do have a cunning plan!

So, excuses aside, let’s assume that prevention is better than cure. Let’s assume that there will always be some mix of “do now, get paid later” in our world. What can we do about it?

Well, I am working on that. I can’t say much right now. I am working on something that will help us all. Sadly, at this stage I don’t think it is as simple as implementing an Australian version of Debtor Checker from the UK. It is a beautiful idea though.

My solution will have to be smarter, as it is tricky to navigate Australia’s laws so that the victim doesn’t become the offender.

My solution won’t focus on the idiots. I don’t want to do that and presume most other people wouldn’t either. My solution is about positivity and operating with our eyes open in a practical sense. Wouldn’t it be nice to choose to work with nice honest people from the outset and never have to deal with the trash?

Like many new ideas, it’s not ready for discussion yet.

However, if you’ve come up with a clever way to sort the chaff from the wheat, I’d love to hear about it as a comment below. (And if any of the wealthy among you out there remembers the feeling and impact these people have on us little guys, I’d love to talk to you about being part of my project.)

To get the ball rolling, here’s the best tip I’ve been given so far: “Google all prospective clients before you do business with them”. It is not always easy to do but it is better than Googling them after they’ve ripped you off.

What do you do to rat out the rats?

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principal PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au. Image by thetimchannel (Tim Fuller)

“I need a new computer.”
“Why is that?”
“My old computer is dead.”
“What do you use your computer for?”
“Work. You know, email and stuff.”

What the customer wants

Unfortunately, the driver for many technology purchases is not what it can do for you but what the old technology once did but is now failing to do.

Many of us would be happy with exactly what we’ve got now but sadly progress often puts this option out of the question.

Of course, sometimes people don’t feel confident enough, or simply don’t know how, to communicate what it is they do with their computers. I am pretty sure most computer owners do a lot more than just “email and stuff” but aside from the occasional “Word and Excel” response that is what I am usually told.

Believe it or not, this is not a new problem, and even more incredibly, computer people have been trying to solve it for decades. It seems some geeks do really want to know what the customer wants. Who would have thought?

The theory is all well and good: Computers are supposed to do what the customer wants. However, reading people’s minds, it seems, turns out to be tough and computers can’t in fact do everything.

Boffins being boffins, they have tended to come up with complex and unwieldy solutions to understanding the specific things people want to do with their computers. In many instances, the language or tool these people develop to solve the problem ends up more complex than the initial problem. Clearly that is unhelpful.

Use Cases

One of the nice and simple solutions I’ve come across over the years is a thing called a “use case”.

According to Wikipedia, “a use case describes ‘who’ can do ‘what’ with the system in question.” True, once you get past the basic definition, things in the article start to get a little scary and complex. However, I like use cases because the term itself is often enough to prompt people to think harder about what a computer should do for them.

Sometimes I like to rephrase it like this:

“For this case I use the computer to do this.”

This gets the thinking going and then specifics can be added later.

For example:

“For work I use the computer to write documents.”

“For fun I use the computer to play games.”

“For the family I use the computer to manage our digital photos.”

And so on.

The statements are very high-level and broad at first but this is necessary. The broad statements are then broken down into their more specific components:

“For writing documents I need a grammar and spelling checker.”

“For fun I like games such as chess, solitaire and 3D shoot ‘em ups.”

“For managing digital photos I use the computer to touch up photos.”

You may have noticed I specifically avoided mentioning brands or solutions in the statements. This allows us to focus on an appropriate solution for the need. That is, if a product ticks all the boxes for your needs, then to some extent the brand may not matter.

So go ahead, grab a pen and paper and think of as many use cases as you can. Move beyond, ‘you know, email and stuff’. Writing down use cases for your next computer will allow you to have a better conversation with your computer supplier of choice. Try it!

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principal PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

This rule is hard to digest if you have learnt your trade in a print dominated field. But it’s got to be said:

19. No matter how much effort you put into making a document or anything look perfect, it will always appear different on someone else’s computer or printed out.

Maybe I shouldn’t have used the word ‘perfect’. But it is not my choice. It is what I hear.

I am often asked:

“How do I guarantee that a document or email will look exactly the way I want on the recipient’s computer?”

My answer may sound unacceptable but you’ll have to accept it.

“You can’t!”

Even the Portable Document Format (PDF) can only do so much.

“But David, how can that be so?”

Well, let’s take the example of a corporate logo rendered in a set of very specific pantone colours. These colours are precisely defined by their component light wavelengths. Perfectly reproducible you may think.

But no. Let me show you why.

On the monitor you are looking at now press the menu button. You’ll see something like this:

Colour settings? What?

Yes, you can adjust the way your monitor displays colours. If you can do that the recipient of your document can do it also.

Now apply the same revelation to printers and their different inks, brands, papers and so on.

Right now, you are probably starting to think it is a miracle that your document would look anything like you intended, let alone approaching ‘perfection’ in any way.

Let it go. If you want your project completed in a timely fashion, move on.

Perfect in a literal sense is nonsense. It doesn’t exist. ‘Perfect’ as in ‘fit for its purpose’, on the other hand, is most definitely achievable.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

One of the most common complaints levelled at computer technicians is that ‘the internet doesn’t work’. It’s such a common, misdirected concern that I’ve decided to dedicate this post to the ‘layman’ user in us all.

And for those who think they are beyond ‘layman’ status, with specialist hardware for multi-tasking at lightning speed, I’m about to burst your bubble.

16. Wireless speeds are what they seem

Whether it be wireless internet, wireless mice or wireless networking, the reality is that the speeds you are quoted when you buy a device are unlikely to ever be achieved.

For example, wireless networking speeds are quoted to us based on a standard measurement that has the sending and receiving devices one meter from each other.

One meter? What is the point of that?

Sure, it is a standard measurement but it is not a real life test. This speed is further falsified by a thing called the “theoretical limit”. The theoretical limit is what is mathematically possible in a perfect world.

About.com explains some of this nicely:

“The disparity between theoretical and practical performance comes from protocol overhead, signal interference, and decreasing signal distance with distance. In addition, the more devices communicating on a WLAN simultaneously, the slower the network will appear.”

Wireless ‘protocols’ can’t assume that the information you are sending back and forwards makes it to the other end OK. After, there may be a fridge between your laptop and your wireless network access point.

When the fridge fires up it will cause electrical interference.

On your radio you’d hear crackles over the music. Over you network these crackles destroy your data. So the ‘protocol’ includes checks and redundancy to make sure things get where they are going. This is wasteful and slows things down but it has to be done.

As much as the pushers of wireless tell us that speeds are increasing to the point of direct competition with cables they are lying.

The bottom line is that a good wired network will always be significantly faster than a good wireless network.

So the rule of thumb is ‘wireless for convenience, wires for speed’.

17. When your internet goes down it isn’t the end of the world.

Patience is your friend. The ‘internet’ usually comes up on its own again in less than an hour.

When I say internet I am referring to all the services over and on the internet we’ve come to love (e.g. email, instant messaging, web browsing and connecting to the whole cloud as well).

We falsely come to expect that the internet is always there and communications over it are instantaneous. It isn’t and they aren’t.

Your computer person may well provide very fast and instant service but that is not always the best thing for your wallet.

The information super highway is quite like our own road systems. Sure, it is good when it works but every so often things break and maintenance is required. Your mail may not make its destination when you expect because the truck has broken down or the depot is closed for the night. Exercising a little patience will have the problem resolved in due course without any extra effort or cost on your behalf.

When I experience email delivery problems I don’t jump on the phone to my internet service provider or start troubleshooting it. I simply shrug my shoulders and wait a while before trying again.

Of course, if problems persist seek medical advice!

18. There’s no such thing as multi-tasking

Almost since computers as we know them were invented people have been trying to make them do more than one thing at a time.

This was because they originally did their one thing quite slowly… faster than us maybe… but slowly nonetheless.

These days multi-tasking is commonplace.

The thing is… it doesn’t really exist. At least, it certainly doesn’t for mere mortals like you and me on our home computers.

Face it, you are just one person sitting in front of one computer. Be honest, what are you doing right now at exactly the same time as reading this?

I’ll tell you – nothing because you can’t. Human heads are single tasking. We work far less efficiently when chopping and changing from one task to another and back again.

This is exactly how computers multitask (in most cases). They switch back and forth so fast we don’t notice the stops and starts. Much like how old fashioned movies flick from frame to frame but we see motion.

What you make up in looking like you are doing lots at once you lose in switching overhead. Apple understood this and a large proportion of its success with iPhones comes down to avoiding multi-tasking (whether the users know it or not). This will change soon though (if it hasn’t by the time you read this).

So when someone next tries to sell you on multi-tasking don’t be fooled. Sure they may have multiple processors and all sorts of fancy stuff going on but we know what is really going on right? Of course we do. It all comes together at the end of a funnel we call “the monitor” and goes into our brains through just the one head.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

So, you now know a bit about purchasing software and backing up. You’re probably already thinking like a computer technician. But sometimes even the most experienced computer user will wonder, “Is my hired computer technician having a lend?”

Hear are three reasons we do things the way that we do.

13. Why powering down and rebooting fixes so many problems (turning it off and on is not fobbing you off).

The old “reboot” is the butt of many jokes both inside and outside the computer community.

It seems like it is the first thing you are told to do when you encounter a problem.

That used to be the case. Believe it or not computers are actually more reliable these days.

However, you will still be told to reboot or power down your machine in many cases.

The reason for this is that every computer (and that includes things that contain computers such as cars, dishwashers, dryers, mobile phones… well almost everything really) contains software – lots and lots of software. Software is imperfect and the longer it runs the more likely it is to misbehave.

Rebooting your computer forces the software to start from scratch.

The reason that this is good, is because it is the path that the program has run most often. After all, it has to do it every time. As a result it is the path that the programmers will have tested the most and made sure that it works (if only for their own convenience during the coding process).

Hardly used functions will misbehave the most. In fact, it has been found that most people only use 5% to 8% of the functionality of any particular piece of software.

There are other reasons too, including heat, memory errors etc., but I won’t go into them here.

The point is, before you get frustrated by a misbehaving device and resort to spending money on a technician, try powering it down first. If the device has a battery or a standby mode of some sort make sure you really disconnect the power — take the battery out — and wait 5 minutes before turning the device back on.

Getting into a routine of powering down your computers and accessories every night will help avoid these creeping problems catching you out and save you money on your power bills.

14. What’s best for you is often what’s easiest for them.

Usually, there are multiple ways to solve a problem. Strangely this includes not solving the problem.

This may sound like a bad thing to you but it really isn’t.

Sometimes we computer people just can’t make the likes of Microsoft and Apple fix the problem they’ve given you.

Often we need to provide you with an acceptable workaround.

To get you going as soon as possible and with as little fuss, your computer technician should suggest simple best-of-breed solutions to bypass a problem or provide a solution. These will be, due to the inherent complexity of the computing world, the things they are most familiar with.

It is about providing you value for money and not killing ourselves in the process.

15. Getting hidden passwords and data back is often scarily easy…

…free and available to everyone.

Don’t believe me? Go here http://www.nirsoft.net/

This is just one example of many websites containing many utilities for getting around all sorts of security.

Most antivirus software will warn you that this software is a security threat if you download it.

In your hands it isn’t. In someone else’s it may well be, especially if you aren’t there when they are using it.

There are many legitimate reasons for this software to exist and to some degree the existence of this website makes those reasons self evident.

When you lose your email password do you want to:

a) Spend an hour or more on the phone to your ISP waiting for it to be reset only to have your internet then go offline because the same password lives in your modem; or,

b) Let your technician run this program and get it back for you in around 5 minutes?

I thought so.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

Know-nothing politicians trying to tell pioneers of internet domination how to go about business. People crying about how a free service is treating them. Employment choices being won and lost on the results of search engine queries. And on it goes.

We’ve all heard the horror stories. Someone we know who has taken a photo of their privates, uploaded it to a web site to show their friends, only to be surprised when they become the darling of the Friday afternoon email set. A friend of a friend tweets about an evening’s indiscretion and wonders just how the hell their partners, friends and partners of friends found out.

Chucking a sicky just got a whole lot harder for those addicted to social media.

In my line of work, I have to put myself in the shoes of those among us who don’t know much about computers. The easy part is telling my customers that anything they put on the web can be found by someone else. The hard part is explaining why.

It is not about the privacy settings or what various entities say they will or won’t do with your information. It is about what happens when things go wrong. No matter what box you tick, when someone deliberately hacks into a database, accidentally releases passwords to a public website or the program controlling the effect of that tick box just doesn’t work, then your private information will get out.

Sooner or later through these, or any number of other potential SNAFUs, your privacy will be compromised.

Let me ask you this. Are you aware of how hard you are battling to keep the data on your computer private?

The computer in front of you right now?

You probably know you are running a firewall. You probably know you are running some sort of anti-malware product,. You probably know you are running some sort of anti-phishing product…or maybe not. My point is that you are battling to be master of your own domain, what chance do you have once your data is in the wild?

Despite all the rhetoric, the owners of the space where your data lives don’t actually care about you. They care about the majority of their customers. The customers they like and the customers who don’t complain about what they are getting free of charge. Often they don’t even care when you are paying for their services.

While there are benefits to be had by being “out there” for both your business and your social life, and I mean your actual get-off-your-arse-and-do-something social life, the value of this versus the risk of your privacy being compromised can only be judged by you.

Sometimes the path of least resistance is not only the best path but the only path.

Just this week it was claimed that 300,000 people closed their FaceBook accounts in protest at changes to privacy options.

Last time I checked FaceBook was not owned by those 300,000 people and it was free for them to use.

There’s been a lot of whinging but those folks did the right thing. If you don’t like it, get off.

If I owned Facebook and people where whinging to me about what I did with my company I’d tell them to piss-off. You can’t make everybody happy and you go mad if you try.

The first time I checked, and every time up until the present, there’s no such thing as privacy on the internet. I am not talking about security. I am talking about privacy. If you don’t want it seen, then don’t put it out there. This is not a new concept, the technology has changed.

That’s all.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

So, I’ve already explained how there’s no such thing as a virus proof computer and that the technology you buy today is already obsolete before you get it home. I’ve talked about backing up, why it works and sometimes why it doesn’t.

But what about the eternal debate: Do you get what you pay for?

9. Most things you need to achieve with your computer can be done with FREE software.

There are more ways to get software than just handing over cool, hard cash.

When looking for best of breed software to solve a particular problem you are moving in a world where someone else has probably already experienced your pain and, if they are a geek, they’ve possibly written a program to solve it.

In some ways, it is getting harder to find completely FREE software. In other ways, there’s never been more of it around.

A lot of large software manufacturers provide a sweetener for home users but require payment for larger scale use (e.g. AVG antivirus, AllwaySync’s file synchronization tool). If your use is basic and your needs minimal then flying under the radar is not only easy but encouraged.

There’s a whole community of software developers out there that think all software should be free. The Open Source community are providing heaps of new software on a daily basis at places like Source Forge.net.

There is a cost though. Time. You need a bit of time to track this stuff down.

However, if you want to keep abreast of some of the more useful stuff I come across keep an eye on your inbox for our newsletters (sign up on our web site).

10. You’ll only ever use 5% of any suite of software you buy

I’ve touched on this subject twice already.

Software manufacturers put a lot of junk in software that you just don’t need. They want to dazzle you with value. In other words, they ship on weight not quality.

They also ship in shiny boxes that contain little other than the software required to get the first update that makes the software actually work.

Look past the bulk, ignore the “features”. Instead make sure the software does what you want it to.

Here are the tricks to making sure your software does what you want:

• Buy best of breed not breeding the best.
• Try it before you buy it.
• Only buy on recommendation.
• Only buy on recommendations from people who use the software the way you will.
• Only buy software with a return and money back policy.
• Buy software from online stores (you are getting the latest version immediately instead of on a DVD in a box that will just be thrown out… and is more likely not to work first go).

11. Free updates on the web means the software you have now is known to be flawed.

The first thing all software will do these days, upon connecting to the internet, is look for a better version of itself.

Sadly, the internet has fostered a ship-now-fix-later attitude with the manufacturers of our computer based gadgets.

Sometimes they are chasing their tails. In the case of antivirus software they’ll always be behind the 8-ball because the bad guys are always writing new bad stuff. So they have to update daily (at least).

Factor this into your software and hardware purchases by making sure that what you need the device to do immediately works for you. In other words, try before you buy.

Much like the rebooting point above, if you buy the right software the stuff that needs updating may not be of use to you in the first place.

Remember, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

12. Inside an Apple Mac, it is the same as a PC.

Being a non-geek you may not recall that some years ago the big players got together and collaborated on a common hardware platform (your computer) to reduce their costs and improve compatibility for us.

This ended up being surprisingly easy (I say that because I didn’t have to do it) and for a lot of the time the hardware inside your Mac is basically the same as that inside your PC.

So peeling away the shiny box that is your brand of choice will reveal the same processors, the same hard disks, the same peripherals and so on.

So much so in fact that your Mac can run Windows without any trouble. Sadly, Apples closed policy on their operating system means your PC can’t run OSX. The tricky stuff that prevents this is about the only physical difference between Macs and PCs.

Oh yeah, and of course, the slickness of their advertising campaigns also makes a difference… apparently.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

Last week, David Moore commenced his expose into the secrets of computer maintenance – 20 dark secrets your computer technician doesn’t want you to know (or is simply too embarrassed to tell you). This week, he continues with the uncomfortable truth about backing up your data.

Who has your back?

Last week, I promised to tell you something that I suspect you’ve not heard from any IT person before. It is probably the most important piece of information you’ll ever hear about data backups.

It comes from the heart, it comes from cold hard facts and it comes from painful experience.

6. You need to keep a person who cares about the data in the backup process.

Up until now, I’m sure you’ve been sold automatic backups solutions that ‘look after themselves’. Now why would you believe that? Nothing else in computing looks after itself. Why would your backups?

I do not care what anyone else has or will tell you about data backups. I will stand by this assertion until the day I die. You need an actual person regularly checking that your backups are working and testing that the data can be recovered.

Sometimes, if you are a small business, the person who cares about the backups may be the person doing them. In larger operations, it is most likely that the person who cares about the data doesn’t even know the person who is doing the backups. This is a problem.

Some responsibilities simply cannot be outsourced.

I’m going to tell you something else that I bet you’ve never heard from an IT person before either. This is probably the second most important piece of information you’ll hear about data backups.

7. You need to build a ‘backup’ mindset into how all your team work on a day to day basis.

Home and small business computer users simply don’t have the time, resources or expertise to do the sorts of batch-like backup jobs that big businesses do. In big business it is a common belief that ‘someone else is doing the backups’.

Instead individuals need to be encouraged to build backup strategies in how they work on an item by item basis. This can be hard when your team is made up of people who just know enough about computing to get there job done and nothing else. Backups have to fit into the way your business works so that it happens ‘as part of what you do’ rather than ‘something extra that is a bother’.

Here’s the last thing I’ll tell you about backups that you’ve probably not heard before from your IT person.

8. You need at least two completely different backup strategies and every piece of important data should be in at least three different physical locations.

If losing what you are working on would cause you pain, then back it up now!

This is but the tip of the iceberg. When data loss happens it happens very fast and data recovery is very, very slow.

Data backup and data loss is a horrible business.

Sooner or later you will need to come to terms with losing everything and starting from scratch. Some people find that liberating and the process of renewal exciting. Yeah, well, not me.

Next week, I look forward to sharing with you the the uncomfortable truth about brands, purchasing and the concept of ‘free’.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

My second job in the computer industry was in mobile computing. That was in around 1987.

I’ll refrain from the traditional comparisons on the performance of these machines to today’s washing machines and such.

My point is that the revolution we are experiencing right now, in the form of HP slate PCs, iPads, ASUS tablets and such, has been a long time coming. It wasn’t new when I was in it two decades ago. However, it was significantly more costly and not readily affordable by the general public, but it certainly wasn’t new.

Back then, larger companies were using this technology to manage orders, deliveries and servicing of equipment ‘in the field’.

One of the main problems they faced was screen real estate. Another issue was that mobile computers were capable of displaying little more than the average calculator, with the main point of difference being that they could display letters of the alphabet. No graphics, no colour, nothing.

The manufacturers of these primitive portable computers realised early on that, at the very least, people using these things needed bigger screens. So, it wasn’t long before I encountered my first tablet-like computer in around 1990. It was a Symbol/MSI brand device and called a “Pen Computer”.

It was rubbish on so many levels. It was too big to put in your pocket, too small to be a device you could use for any length of time, too small for your laptop bag but too big for your man-bag, the pen didn’t work and so on. It was an ‘in-between’ device in a world of polar opposites.

Since then I’ve seen maybe four or five attempts by various players to breath life into the tablet-like market, such as “web pads” in 1999, “Tablet PC” in 2000 and Ultra-Mobile PC in 2006/2007, to name a few. All have failed. The poles remained.

The hype has come and gone and here we are 20-odd years later and still the in-between devices keep popping up. I don’t like hype. I’m the kind of person who specifically avoids television shows labeled as ‘must see’. No I mustn’t. Tell me why I must? Shouting and insisting are not good reasons.

When it comes to the survival of the fittest, these in-between devices won’t cut the mustard.

Maybe from a natural selection perspective they keep re-appearing because they do have a place in the world. My experience feeds my cynicism and I doubt that this is in fact the case.

Humans have been defying natural selection for centuries so why should our technology be any different? Our species doesn’t learn from history. Some boffin sees a gap in the market and has to fill it, when they should really be sitting back and asking why such a glaring cavern remains a void? Have they ever considered that maybe we aren’t meant to go there?

I appreciate mankind’s spirit of adventure and desire to discover the unknown. I just think there are bigger fish to fry, or save, depending on your perspective.

I also love gadgets and technology, but successful devices need a purpose and they have to execute their designed task well. It is not good enough that you can play the games you’ve already got on a slightly larger screen or have fun watching your cat use the touch-screen.

Maybe with public transport being so crap these days the time has come for in-between devices to distract from people killing each other on trains and buses? Maybe, but would Darwin agree?

I’d love for his new phase of in-between tablet-like device popularity to be successful if for nothing more than to prevent them arriving at landfills early.

For my money I am waiting for a compelling reason to own one. Stay tuned, I’ll let you know if I hear of one.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

Photo: nDevilTV

In the first part of a six part series, David Moore takes a behind-the-scenes look at the ‘dark art’ of computer maintenance and reveals some obvious (and some not so apparent) tricks to keeping your system up and running.

We don’t mean to be evasive or strangely secretive.

Speaking on behalf of my techie brethren, it’s fair to say that sometimes, despite the claims, we simply don’t know all the answers.

The truth is that the computer troubleshooting field is so vast, complex and variable that no technician can know the answer to every problem.

Even if we could, tomorrow the game will have changed.

But, like any good professional, we do know where to start looking.

Over the next six weeks, I will share 20 observations that guide the sometimes ‘dark art’ of computer maintenance.

Some of these ‘secrets’ your computer technician won’t want you to know about. Others, well, they are simply too embarrassingly to share.

But every one of these 20 pointers will help shed some light on the most common complaints and concerns of the non-technical computer user (i.e. probably you).

To whet your appetite, today I will be revealing the first four:

1. There’s no such thing as a virus proof computer. Anyone who says so is lying.
2. The technology you buy today is already obsolete before you get it home.
3. Getting your “lost data” back is sometimes very easy. Sometimes.
4. Data backups don’t work most of the time.

1. There’s no such thing as a virus proof computer. Anyone who says so is lying.

There may be computers that, right now, don’t have viruses on them but that doesn’t mean they never will.

There may be computers protected by anti-virus software today that won’t be tomorrow.

The whole game for the people writing the malicious software (MALware) is to catch someone’s computer with its pants down.

The more you brag about being secure the bigger target you are. If you are already a big target then guess what, you are being targeted.

Virus protection is an electronic game of leapfrog. Your protection can only protect you from what it knows about today. It can’t prevent from attacking you what the bad guys wrote overnight.

Sooner or later (in fact, both sooner and later), you will get a virus of some sort (yes even on Macs, linux…whatever).

The only real questions are, ‘How much damage it will do’ and ‘Do you have a backup from which to recover your lost data?’.

2. The technology you buy today is already obsolete before you get it home.

You may think you already know this. You’ve heard it before.

In fact, it is obsolete before it even comes to market. Even before it goes into production.

All you are buying now is what is available, not what can be done.

This is exacerbated and affects your hip pocket unacceptably when you buy technical equipment ‘on special’.

The bigger the special the louder the vendor is saying, ‘Buy this out of date crap I don’t want’. That too may sound very obvious. It is very obvious.

3. Getting your ‘lost data’ back is sometimes very easy. Sometimes.

The types of data loss that can affect you are many and varied so I won’t go into them here.

However, most of them are a bit like losing your keys. You know they are somewhere. You just have to find them.

Sure, data is ‘soft’ in that you can’t touch it but the mysteries of how and where it is stored elude most people.

You are probably aware of the recycle bin. It is a place where deleted stuff goes before it is permanently erased. Well, to your computer technician there are many similar mechanisms analogous to the recycle bin where we can go to get your data.

A lot of people view their computer as a single device where its failure spells total doom. This is not the case. Quite often the failure of a single component can leave your data completely intact. It is just a matter of plugging your data storage into another computer to see it.

It has to be said, though, the opposite of this premise is also horrifyingly true on occasions. Sometimes it is simple to screw up your data so badly, so quickly, that no-one can ever get it back. (Think viruses and malicious software for one example.)

4. Data backups don’t work most of the time.

If there’s one common theme that has run through my 25 years plus of IT career it is how badly data backups are done and how often they fail. I’m talking about the data backups failing. Not the failure that forced you to discover that your backups were stuffed.

Ask your business insurer to see if your company’s data is covered in your business insurance? I mean it. Pick up the phone now and find out.

I’ll wait while you do it…

You’re back? What did they say? Hmmm, that’s a worry isn’t it?

You should consider that your important data is unique. There is no warehouse somewhere with data just like yours that can be bolted on to replace the damaged parts.

Chances are that when it is gone it is really gone. Totally and irreversibly gone. All you’ll be able to do is recreate it from scratch and only you know the true cost of that!

I’m sure you’ve heard all this doom and gloom before and I am equally sure you’ve ignored it to one degree or greater.

I’m not going to tell you how to do your backups because every case is different.

However, in my next piece, I will tell you something else that I suspect you’ve not heard from any IT person before.

It is probably the most important piece of information you’ll ever hear about data backups. It comes from the heart. It comes from cold hard facts and it comes from painful experience.

Watch this space!

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

Businesses like to hang their hat with one political party or another for a variety of misguided reasons.

It may well explain why so many businesses go bust in the first three years. They are spending too much time hoping politicians will deliver them a miracle than, you know, working. Is it just coincidence that this time frame is the same as the term of a government?

When your favourite politician fails to deliver — and they will — where does your energy go? Down the toilet? Into another politician? What?

I have friends who have high profile politicians as friends.

They tell me things like “they have good intentions”, “so and so started as an idealist”, “they are real people like you and me”, “so and so is actually quite nice”. Blah blah blah.

I don’t doubt that. I don’t know the person the way they do. What I do doubt is the veracity of their chosen profession.

As far as I can tell though, once anyone puts on their politician hat they have volunteered for a childish game that is fundamentally self-serving and dishonest. There’s no escaping that fact. That is the game of politics. If you don’t play by those rules you won’t make a good politician. It is a bit like calling yourself a prostitute and thinking you can get by in the business without getting screwed.

It doesn’t take much analysis to see that the real movers and shakers on our planet get on with the job without becoming politicians. Look at Peter Garret. He’s been both a mover-and-shaker and a politician. Judge for yourself!

It also doesn’t take much thought to realise that our politicians have no incentive to instigate long-term change for the better. They are only in for three years before they have to start lying to us so they get another go. Then, when they are gone, the next person undoes everything they might have achieved.

If a politician is lucky enough to leave behind a standing policy, law, scheme or whatever, be it good or bad, they are not held accountable for it. They’ve got their retirement package, limo and airfares. We can all get stuffed. It is the new guy’s problem now.

People of the non-political world, let me tell you that we are running the show!

Don’t wait for the political parasites to do something. They’ll just suck what they need and drop off. Has it ever been any different? What incentive is there for them to change?

It is not often I watch Jim Carey movies, let alone twice. But a recent re-viewing of Bruce Almighty rang true to me.

People, we have to be the miracle. Don’t wait for anyone else, especially politicians, to deliver it to you. Miracles aren’t the impossible magic we’ve come to believe they are. They are much more benign than that, and we’re all the better for it.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.

Photo: h.koppdelaney

Humanity is quite simply the pursuit of shiny objects.

I’ve touched on the “shiny” phenomenon in previous posts and I am by no means the first to suggest this. You don’t have to watch too much comedy to spot references to this phenomenon. Google it and see what I mean.

Sure we may get distracted along the way by non-shiny things. We may choose to get a job, have kids, travel or whatever. But the distraction from the main distraction doesn’t last long.

All humans want is to touch and own shiny objects. I am pretty sure it is hard-wired into our brains right alongside breathing, pumping blood, sex and sleeping.

Evil boffins are well known for exploiting our weakness in this area. Apple is probably the evilest and smartest of the boffins. Surely you don’t need me to elaborate on that point? Car manufacturers are arguably in second place.

Quite some years ago I read an article by a marketing person in an industry dominated by shiny things. This person said, while observing passers-by at a trade show displaying their latest innovation, “We knew we had a winner because everyone that saw it wanted to touch it.”

Pure evil!

So my assumption is that we are motivated by something visceral rather than pragmatic. That’s OK. There’s not much we can do about it. Most humans assume they are better than that though.

When our technology fails us, and we need to replace it, the shiny beast is hard to control.

Chances are the thing you are replacing can’t be replaced with one exactly the same. There’s usually a new model, new competitor, a new version and, worse still, even if a replacement is available you may have decided you don’t want that type of thing anymore.

I often have conversations with my clients about their upcoming technology purchases and it still surprises me how often an outsider’s perspective can reveal the need behind the shininess and the pragmatics behind the emotion.

At the moment I am reading a book called “The Power of an Hour” by Dave Lakhani. One of the early chapters is about critical thinking. It is essentially about stripping away the bullshit you are presented in the form of “facts” and doing some assessment of the data and the likelihood of it being accurate enough for your purposes. To control the shiny beast you need critical thinking.

Recently, a friend’s laptop failed. We had several conversations both before and during the purchase process. He was keen to jump platforms. The problem I saw, and he’d previously communicated to me, was that he doesn’t like change. Sadly, due to the age of the failed laptop, he didn’t have much choice but to embrace a change in operating system no matter where he went. We also talked about how he worked, what he does and what he needs and wants to do with the machine in the next two years (because that is how long the new device will most likely last). And, of course, we spoke about dollars. The resulting purchase was something neither of us had considered but entirely appropriate for the tool that it needed to be.

I’m the last person to label myself the voice of sanity. Sanity is quite dull. In this case, I was a voice of delay and consideration. They, too, sound dull, but they save money and prevent frustration.

Do you have access to such a voice be it internal or external?

Jumping fast at shiny objects can be costly and painful. Just ask my cat.

David Moore has 25 years experience in the computer industry and is now Principle PC Hater at ihatemypc.com.au.